it’s the last month of the year.
what a year I had, let me tell you!
December is when i take stock of all the things that went on creatively, the good, the bad, the joyful, the not so joyful. What really worked and what utterly failed in my arts practice.
its funny how much failed attempts i have to push thru in order to get to the other stuff. Each year i claim i will get better at avoiding said failure and yet i continue to shoot some buuuuuuuuuuuusted shots. Life is really something. I am a risk taker though, i can say that in bonafide truth, though I will also say i sometimes don’t think about the smaller details of those said risks. I just jump and hope for the best…. sometimes shock myself with this, and at this point i sheepishly blame genetics. I come from a long line of people who put the R in risk. And nothing I risk will ever come anywhere close to those folk, they put their literal lives on the line, just so I could have one. I count myself lucky, even in each and every failed attempt. “Consistent humility breeds compassion+patience…”, my mother used to say… Arts life is not linear. it’s hills, valleys, tunnels, ditches, round a bouts and a few trapped dead ends here and there. Us arts folks are committed to the journey.
One thing i know for certain is the way i have moved thru my creativity up to this point, is not 100% sustainable. At least in this last year, it’s become a scheduling shit show of ginormous proportions. a studio dis organizational nightmare at present that I have to rein in a bit. Shave off a few things. relax, so that I can also enjoy this life thing i’m doing( on the side:))
I’m also asking myself some new questions around my purpose. I think that’s why i had leave most social media for awhile, as those platforms served the purpose of making sure you knew I was out here, but I don’t have to do that so much anymore.So trying to figure out a new direction that makes sense for my life’s purpose if i’m going to use those things again. Also asking questions about my creative goals. I’m at a point where I have been able to realize some great creative goals. Really some things beyond my wildest creativity dreams. And I have a looooooooot of people to thank for that. But it’s now time to rethink how i want to move next. I am a creativity shapeshifter, and I don’t mind it, but im also not trying to be a “jack of all trades, master of none, etc..”, letting creative desperation instead of creative abundance lead the way, as that’s no way to live. Arts life can be hard, but it can also be a helluva a lot of fun, and i want to lean more towards the fun, less towards the hard in whatever is next…
so my december is going to be about a re framing, loss, gain etc. I’m excited.
I’ve, btw, have set up a separate space for coin coin related things over here. Take a gander. it’s mostly photos and tidbits from my ever expanding archive of images, from my travels and documents that I use to make the coin coin work. There’s also some amount of inspiration that i’ve leaned on outside of my personal archive, tht is easily rebloggable from the Tumblr platform, so its a good place to park that work/process for now. At some point i will publish a book of some of my personal ephemera that i have used. It’s nice to be able to digitize, but i prefer books.
for inquiring minds, yr more than welcome to leave any questions you have abt the series there. Can’t promise to answer everything, but will do my best.
Maybe i will also place these missives there.
in terms of coin coin research im doing a lot of deeper digging into new scholarship around generational trauma. Recently meeting with a scholar who specializes in interpreting those layers. im also doing some on the ground research of a specific historical event that in some sense informs part of one of the next chapters in the work. Doing a lot of library reading, and laying track for more travels that are going to have to happen in order for me to fully realize a few of the next chapters. Applying for various resources, and support. Digging deeper into spirit work….Haggling over also which chapter i will release next. I may not continue in order…we shall see…. Also watching a fair amount of historical film and documentaries that inform what im after. And chasing folks for interviews, and other various realms of expertise, while building new scores. it’s a multilayered process.
also peeping pop cultured framed narratives, like HBO’s Watchmen for instance. It’s very interesting what is happening there…how that true story,unbeknownst to many americans, bc it doesn’t get taught in school, is being told….
Lots of hopeful things in the works for next year as well.
Speaking of hope, currently getting lots of it from another amazing podcast.
start with the one on Betye Saar, who is 93 this year. You will not be sorry.
ps. it has bn brought to my attention that someone is loading the new album’s lyrics up over on genius. thank you so much to whomever is doing that, however there are some key mistakes, around vernacular assumptions and also due to just my poor diction. i tried to correct it, but genius is not recognizing my edits. so i have given up over there, and may just place the corrected lyrics on this site